He was a multiple Oscar winner; I was a dog walker

To tell you the truth, he was one of my favorite celebrities. But I was still emotionally distraught, having attempted suicide on a bridge not a day before. I just stared at him. What was he doing here?

 I know about Hollywood North and that a lot of actors come here to become low on the radar. But in a psych ward? I had dated an actor who knew his older brother. My ex had told me that he had suffered from bipolar and had multiple run-ins with publicity, photographers and being famous in general. He didn't medicate his bipolar, like I did. I was told that it added an extra edge to his acting and the characters he was sinking into.

 Truth be told, he was won of the greatest actors Hollywood had ever seen. I had a lot of respect for him, but I could not understand how we were in this together. It still mystifies me. He didn't talk much; he watched tv day and night. I took in visitors and they held me up while I had nothing to give. I was extremely fragile.

 For months I had been bipolar high and living without taking some of my pills. I had bouts of non stop talking, sleepless nights and I thought everything was a sign for me to notice and add huge spiritual meaning to.  I had also obsessed about several celebrities.

 He's Irish in origin. With one of the patients I recognized from meeting at my mental health team, I struck up a conversation. I remembered that he had met Bono at an Oscar party for the Irish. The actor's ears perked up and he listened intently though he did not say a word. I bet he had been there...

 I put one of his movie's on the table, to see if he would give a reaction. The next day it was gone. The movie had been missing anyways, but his picture was on the other side. It was him. Unless he had an identical twin. He also had the old tattoo on his arm. It was him, guaranteed. I talked about a poet friend of his, Charles Bukowski, to my friends. The actor had been friends with him and even went to his funeral. I saw his reaction at the mention of his name. I didn't need anymore proof. But I kept his bluff. Everyone needs their privacy in a place like that.

 As the week went on I improved with daily visits from family and friends. I was very lucky. When I was leaving the ward for another one, I talked to him a bit, finally. I told him who I thought he was and he just bluffed. He was actually using a voice from one of his shows he had done. A little higher than usual. I didn't care. I knew in my heart of hearts it was him.

In hindsight, I have the hugest respect for you, though I may not have appreciated your bluff at the time. I was suffering from the dishonesty in my life and I wanted someone to tell me the truth...What I found out was, the people I had idolized for years were vulnerable, like me. And my family and friends filled that hospital room with comforting words. They were the real rock stars.

The actor is now doing selfless work in Haiti for those who are homeless and living in refugee camps. This guy is pretty, damn, special. And I thank you, Sean...